i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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