i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
