found the other keg... it's in the tree
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Randomize