i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
