if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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