yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My vagina is officially offended.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
