I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
