? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
