I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
