I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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