New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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