is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
