it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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