im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just want to make out with him forever
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
