I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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