Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
