Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
