another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
