you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
