If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
