Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
