Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
