if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
