She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize