this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
