She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
vagina is talking i cant
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
