And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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