What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
