so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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