she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
