I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
