I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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