What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
