Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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