The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
