just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize