highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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