I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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