And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
