FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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