Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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