I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
