I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
