with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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