it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
