I just pynch a tree in the face
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
