Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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