If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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