I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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