i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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