The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
