got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
