Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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