im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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