I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
