I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
