So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
