the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
well you can't waste a boner
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
