Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
