Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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