i always forget guys have bellybuttons
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
