Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
operation have a gay friend backfired
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
ok first of all what the fuck
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
