As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
