ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
