3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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