when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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