i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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