Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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