dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
