somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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