If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize