if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
