Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
