Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize