I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
