using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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