i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
